I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
