'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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