I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
