I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
