nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize