If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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