my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
