It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
