wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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