yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
