I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
