I got chris browned last night
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
