i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
