Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
