i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize