1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
