just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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