I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
