i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize