Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
