I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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