I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
