Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
