My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize