the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
