Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize