Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
