Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
