I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
