And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
