This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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