All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
