3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
