the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
