Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
