It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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