HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
