he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
