i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
