Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
