Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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