just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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