Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
