i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
