Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
