this boner is exhausting
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
