Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
