i just google imaged poop.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
