If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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