you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
