Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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