my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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