we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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