Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
