SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
