Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just cut my nipple shaving
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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