Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
