What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just high enough for therapy.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
