everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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