drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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